Itâ€™s the middle of the night in Minnesota and Iâ€™m wide awake. Iâ€™ve alot on my mind; too many things to do and maybe Iâ€™m a bit nervous. Rosh Hashana is coming next week, the start of the Jewish New Year. I am leaving with my kids to California, and will be very busy packing, traveling, settling in, and then cooking for 100 plus students; another challenge, another hurdleâ€¦
My life has been full of challenges and hurdles these past few months. Itâ€™s been amazing to experience and also scary. Over the last year, Iâ€™ve quit a job, gone back to school, gotten a degree, started a businessâ€¦and the list goes on. Last week I tested for my red belt in martial arts. Iâ€™m really proud of that. Iâ€™m another step closer to my black belt. I am not alone though. I have the support of my friends and family. Itâ€™s important that we utilize those around us for both support and butt kicking.
Why am I doing these things? Iâ€™m at a point in my life where I need to let go of the fear thatâ€™s holding me back from living my life to its fullest. As I mentioned in my last blog, Courage,Â I am not a very adventurous type. I realized though, that by doing the opposite of what I thought was my nature, I could gain more self confidence and feel more fulfilled. Is it an easy thing I do? Not at all. I still have some self-doubt, but the difference is that I am using my self-doubt as a catalyst to move myself forward into the place I want to be, by turning it around and by taking one step at a time. I use â€œtoolsâ€ that move me in the direction I have chosen to go. I am learning to declutter my physical and mental surroundings, I am purposely speaking in a more positive way, thus changing my thought patterns, and most importantly, I am allowing myself to trust ME. I am moving towards a more authentic ME.
At some point in our lives, we have to allow ourselves to take chances, to go beyond our comfort zone. If we donâ€™t, how can we ever grow emotionally and spiritually, and then in turn, discover who we really are? Every new experience starts with a first step. Thatâ€™s all it takes.